Friday, August 26, 2011

The Charms of Southern Women

Southern Women are known for their alluring charms.  Men find them irresistible for sure.  I should know, I live in the South.  Recently a man told me "I've always wanted to find a Southern Woman to settle down with. Much more real and authentic."  Another man from the West Coast claims that there is nothing like a Southern Woman.  What is it about us that give us such a reputation?  Is it Scarlet from Gone with the Wind?

We known for a lot of things.  Saying please and thank you.  Serving sweet iced tea and oh our cooking.  Our country style of cooking is something few men can turn down.  It's more to it than that.  It's attitude.  It's our way we can shine with true Feminine Grace even in the not so pleasant moments.  We are also known for our accents, out tempers and our fire.  Always though done with grace.

Southern Women are flirts, no doubt.  We flirt playfully, and tastefully.  We aren't bold or blunt about it, but no how to show interests without chasing.  Now I am not saying we are superior.  We aren't.  We really are no different.  It's culture here in the bible belt.  It is different. 

We can fry up some mean ass chicken too by the way.  Melt in your mouth, yummy chicken.  The trick here though is knowing when to fry up that chicken.  I have come to relate chicken frying with stages of a relationship.  Some women jump in the kitchen, put on the apron and fry that chicken way too soon.  Other women know exactly when and how to fry that chicken.  Knowing this is they key to a relationship, believe it or not.

I have a new book out, yes I finally wrote a book.  Please check it out here.  The Charms of Southern Women.  It's all about Frying Chicken.


Thursday, August 25, 2011

How To Trust Again

Men need to be trusted. If you don't trust your man, it can and will lead to the demise of your relationship if you don't learn to overcome your trust issues. When a man doesn't feel your trust, he doesn't feel safe to open up to you and he won't create that strong emotional bond needed for a relationship to thrive.

Many women associate trust with cheating as in trusting that he will be faithful. While this is important of course, there is so much more to trusting a man than if he cheats or not. Do you trust him with his own life decisions? Do you trust that he will do what he says he will do? Do you trust that he is a good man? Trust is way more than if he will run around on you.

The first step in learning to deal with your trust issues is to realize that they are your issues, not his. They exist in you more than likely because of you past experiences with men that let you down or did cheat. The current man in your life is not these men. He should not have to pay for the sins of the men before him. This is when a man starts to feel resentment. If he feels resentment, he will begin to not trust you with the most important thing, his heart.
When a man has to deal with your trust issues, he no longer feels safe with you. He can't. He starts to walk around on egg shells fearing something he says or does will set your trust issues in motion. If he can't feel safe, he won't thrive with you and grow into a strong healthy relationship. He will view you more as a little girl than the grown sexy woman that is his lover and confidante.

Another thing you may want to look at in your trust issues and how you don't trust men is the role you have played in the past. These men that let you down. Did you possibly accept the wrong men into your life. Often the men that let us down are men we should never have fallen in love with in the first place. I can think of many bad choices I made in men in the past. Sure I could get angry and say men are jerks. They are all alike. The fact is they aren't all alike and a lot of it is my own fault for falling for the wrong man. This isn't always the case, but more times than not we shoulder some of the blame.

If you want to learn to trust again, start with the little things. If he says he will call, trust that he will. If you call him first this shows you don't trust him to call you even though he said he would. If he has a problem or stress in his life, don't try to fix it for him. Trust him to fix it for himself. So many women try to intervene and fix the problems of their men. This just makes them feel inadequate or not trusted by you.

To learn to overcome your trust issues, practice with the little things like trusting he will do what he says he will do. If he says he will call, don't jump the gun and call him first. Give him a chance. Then when he does in fact do what he said, without a push from you, it gives you reinforcement. The more positive reinforcement you get, the easier it will get. It's a process.

The best thing about learning to trust your man is it makes him feel like a man. It makes him feel like the hero. You get positive reinforcement, return it back to him when he doesn't let you down and he will give you even more reasons to trust him, I promise.

Men have to feel trusted. When a woman doesn't trust her man the relationship seems too much like work. Then the man can end up leaving you for a woman that can trust him and make him feel safe. Don't be one of those women asking the question, "What does she have that I don't?"

REAL WOMEN, REAL LOVE.  DARE TO LOVE AGAIN.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6517022

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

He Blows Hot and Cold

If you are in love with a man that blows hot and cold, girl I feel for you. We have all been there. You have this chemistry with a man, it feels returned. Some days are just amazing. Others you don't even know if he will call or not. Worse, you wonder if you don't call him, would you even hear from him or not? It's a emotional roller coaster that is for sure.

Why do men blow hot and cold? Is he moody? Is it that he loves you but he just hasn't realized it yet. This is what I see a lot. Women staying with this up and down man hoping he will realize that one day he loves her and begins to stop the nonsense back and forth stuff. Many women even attempt to talk to their man about it. Oh this is only going to make it worse, don't talk about it. Men respond to distance, not words.

If you find yourself saying "but it was so great last time we were together, how can he just shut me out like that" you have one of those men that go from cold to hot. If you find yourself saying "but I love him", you have even bigger troubles. A man that changes temperatures is not a man in love. A man in love would not dream of putting you through that emotional push pull.

He could be a commitment phobic, he could be emotionally unavailable, but the fact remains, he is what he is, not present in your life like you wished he would be. It's the hot times that keep you holding on. You think if he could just be like this all the time. If he could just see how much I love him, if this, if that.

The fact of the matter is being in love with a man like this is emotionally exhausting. You hold onto how it was in the beginning and ignore how it is now. Fairy dust will not just sprinkle from the sky and transform the hot and cold man into a great partner. Nothing will transform these men into great partners. You are in love with his potential and focused on what could or should be and not what is.

If he was going to become a great partner, he would have already done so. Men don't just wake up one day more interested in you or all of a sudden in love. Men to fall in love have to think about you. A hot and cold man doesn't spend a lot of time thinking about you. Here is a hard truth about these men. His attraction for you is not that strong.

More times than not, men that blow hot and cold may not see you as his dream girl. A man would never blow hot and cold to his dream girl. He might lose her. If he blows hot and cold, you could be just an option for now until someone else comes along. A man who is a good partner would not do this to a woman he truly cares about.

Some hot and cold men stay around for a long time before they disappear. I have seen men blow hot and cold for one woman and turn around and blow hot all the time for another woman. Are you the fall girl here or his dream girl?

The Kind Of Woman That Keeps Him on Hot

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6511963

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

How to Make Him Addicted to You With Text Messages

It doesn't matter if you are single, dating, in a relationship or married. You can ignite a spark with a well thought out well delivered text message. To be successful with this technique, it is critical to have an understanding of the male mind. Men are visual. You have to be able to paint pictures to make him addicted to you.

If you are new to dating a man, it's best to do this more subtle like. Save the more to the point texts for those married or in a stable relationship. If this is a guy you are just dating, the techniques will vary from those if your relationship is established mainly because in the beginning it's best not to initiate with a man. This means you will have to execute your responses to his texts accordingly. By not initiating with the man you aren't chasing him. Men are getting used to women taking the lead. This does not mean they like it. By letting him lead, you stand out from the rest and this alone can make him addicted.

If you are already in a relationship, you can create more visual pictures for the man and be more to the point. This is not something you want to do everyday. Being predictable will not make him addicted to you. Being unpredictable will. If you are always texting him mundane things like when is he coming home or can he stop at the store, toss in a message with some sexual play to it out of the blue. Do this on occasion, not daily. You can start with something as simple as "I can't stop thinking about you today". He will inquire as to why, which is when you refer to something the two of you did in the bedroom if you get my drift. He will instantly remember that time and start thinking about it and you.

To get a man addicted to you, you create positive triggers to positive things you have shared. This builds an emotional connection. This is why texting works so well. Your ring tone, your name on his cell screen become triggers to him. Triggers of passion, and warm fuzzy feelings. When we have addictions in our lives, we think about them often. This is what you want to do with your texts. Get him thinking about you. Not you and what's for dinner. That's annoying and creates negative non addicting thoughts.

Find out what thousand of other women have already discovered about texting men and how it can escalate your romance to new levels.



Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6495655

Monday, August 22, 2011

I Was In Love With an Emotionally Unavailable Man

Oh yes I was once upon a time.  He seemed so wonderful.  He was a good person and I didn't even suspect he was emotionally unavailable until much later on.  It was like the ole frog in the pot.  Put him in cool water, turn it up slowly and he will stay there and boil to death.  Toss him in a hot pot and he jumps out.  I went into the cool water and had no clue, there weren't any signs.

He asked me to be exclusive, he called me his girlfriend.  He did things right.  He called when he was supposed too.  He took me out on dates, he was a stand up guy with a strong character.  He was a family man.  It wasn't until later that I realized he did these things because he thought he was supposed too, not out of some deep desire to make me happy.

The really odd thing is looking back, I don't think he even realized he was emotionally unavailable.  He didn't get my need to be further, deeper into his life or include him into mine.  There were also little clues looking back.  The pillow talk was limited.  He had so many routines that he was unwilling to break.  If grass needed cutting, there was nothing I could do to sway him otherwise.  Cocktails on the deck on a beautiful day sounded so wonderful to me.  I knew at least a dozen people who would love to go for cocktails on a deck, but not my boyfriend.  I was never invited to participate in any of his hobbies or assist in any way with his private life.  We never cooked together.  There was little sharing. 


He did so much right, hence I fell in love, yet it was the things that he wasn't doing that were telling that he was emotionally unavailable.  That is where I screwed up.  I paid attention to what he did and ignored the things he didn't do.  They were easy to overlook.  It was not a big deal that he could never stick around for breakfast, after all, the night before he had given me so much attention.  The sex was great so how could I complain?  He treated me very well and he was good to me.

This went on for a year.  It started dawning on me when I started to really want to share things with him, but wouldn't because I didn't feel in my gut he really wanted me too.  He would listen sure, but be supportive or completely present?  Nope, he didn't.  Just enough to get me by and keep me hanging on.  This is when I started to really feel detached.  I wanted to share and be shared with, in some pretty deep ways.  I didn't feel comfortable doing so.  An emotionally unavailable man does not make you feel safe to open your heart because you are never really sure he wants you too.

I don't blame this man at all.  I could have done a lot of things different myself.  I could have rocked the boat sooner rather than later. I am positive of my own role in the demise of our relationship, but that is another blog post. Hindsight doesn't matter really.  I learned a lot.  It stands as a reminder in my current relationship anytime I get fearful and feel like shutting down.   I don't want my current partner not to feel safe.  Emotional closeness is what I crave and anytime I am tempted to be on the emotionally unavailable side, I think of him.

Note he had been married more than once and each marriage followed shortly after the other.  This could very well have been a sign he is emotionally unavailable.  Emotionally unavailable men are often unaware of their unavailability.  They jump out of one and right into another.  They think they are ready, but the fact is they are not ready for a relationship.  They won't be ready until they take inventory of their past and baggage and come to terms and acceptance with it.

Why He Disappeared!

I was lucky, he dumped me.  I didn't feel so lucky at the time, but now I am thankful that I have had the time to heal, learn and move onto a man who is emotionally available.  Cocktails on the deck?  Anytime!  If you are attracting emotionally unavailable men or are in love with one, understand this.  He won't wake up one day and be the partner you desire.  If he isn't that partner now, he probably won't ever be.  He will do like my ex did and disappear down the road.  You can't fix him, but you can replace him.

Why He Disappeared!

Friday, August 19, 2011

The Disappearing Man Syndrome

Have you ever blown a guy off, as in avoided him? Answer that honestly. Has there ever been a guy who was a nice guy but you didn't feel any attraction for him. You wished you could but you didn't, so you told him you just wanted to be friends. In reality, you probably didn't care if you remained friends or not, but you didn't want to hurt his feelings. Men often skip over the let's be friends and just disappear instead.

Have you ever dated a guy for a couple of months and then he got clingy. You began to doubt the relationship and you started creating a little distance. Seems this just made him more insecure and he began to ask you where the relationship was headed and started to want to talk about the relationship more and more, dissecting anything you said. What did you want to do with this guy. My guess, you wanted to disappear.

Some women talk so much about where the relationship is going that they talk themselves right out of the relationship. This pushes women away when men do it, why are men different. Most women are trying so hard to get the outcome that they desire that they kill the attraction in the process.

I got an email from a client. She had been chatting with this man online for a couple of days and they seem to be hitting it off. They made a date. Three days prior to the date he called it off. Seems someone he had previously met was back in the picture. He was respectful enough to tell her the truth, yet she still wondered if she should stay in touch if it worked out. Are you kidding me? He just told her loud and clear why he disappeared. Fatal mistake, don't hold on at all to the disappearing man.

Men Disappear for one of three reasons:

1. He is not that into you. It's not his fault. We can't help it if a man isn't into us, no more than we can help when we are not into them. It happens. Move on. Find a man who is into you. He is out there.

2. He is not ready for a relationship. He may think he is ready. You may have found him on a dating site. You would think all men there should be ready. They do state that in their profile. It doesn't mean a man is ready in reality though, trust me. If he is not ready for a relationship, that is a top reason why he disappeared.

3. It's not him, it's you. You did something to scare him off. Something that didn't make him feel safe. Maybe you got to clingy. Maybe you started acting too much like a girlfriend too fast Something killed his attraction, you can count on that. If it hadn't, he would not be one of the men that disappear.

With the first two it's a no brainer really. You can't make these men ready and you can't make them like you. You don't need a man who isn't ready and you don't want one that isn't sure if he wants you. If it's number 3, you may not really understand what men treasure in a woman and what makes them feel safe and fall in love.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6501466



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Thursday, August 18, 2011

Are You His Dream Girl or His Yes Girl

Have you seen the older movie Runaway Bride. Remember she didn't even know how she liked her eggs. She had been conforming for so long to what she thought the men would like that she herself didn't know anymore what she liked. This is a yes woman. A dream girl knows what she likes and isn't scared to voice it. Men find this quality very sexy by the way.

A yes woman often operates out of fear. Fear that she will some how lose her man if she doesn't work to please him. A yes woman often puts her friends on hold for her man. I know you know or have been this woman. The woman who stops going out with her friends and devotes all of her time to her new man in her life. She frees up her schedule to accommodate him. She tells her friend she can go out with them if her man doesn't call or has to work or something.

A dream girl won't do this. She maintains her life and doesn't put it on hold for a man. She can involve him, but not at the expense of her own life. She doesn't sacrifice her life for the sake of a man. The man is an addition to her life, not the center of her universe.

Yes women often spend a lot of time doing things for their men. In the meantime, rarely is it returned. This causes a cycle. She does even more to earn his affection, and he returns it even less and the resentment starts to set into her heart. She then voices how she does so much and he does little. He then feels like he isn't making her happy and the relationship starts to spiral down hill.

If you are going out of your way to please a man, you are fast becoming his yes girl. If you are doing household chores, running errands for him, you are setting him up to take you for granted. This is not a dream girl. Dream girls often have the men running errands for them instead. A dream girl inspires the man to please her and understands that to be able to please her is most of what is needed to please him. Men love to make their women happy. Making his woman happy is what makes a man feel like a man. Why on earth would you want to upset this balance and focus on pleasing him?

A yes girl puts a burden on her man unknowingly. A dream girl  inspires him and makes him happy.

The Women Men Adore and Never Want to Leave

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6495790

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Is He Ready for a Relationship

Often we find out too late that he isn't ready for a relationship. By all appearances he seemed to be, but months down the road, he tells you he isn't ready for a relationship. Shouldn't you figure this out before investing time into a man. Shouldn't you find out if he is ready for a relationship sooner than later. Although it doesn't guarantee eternal bliss, it sure will save you more heart ache than not. Jumping into a relationship without knowing the answer to this question is self-abuse.

You can tell if a man is ready for a relationship by his actions. Sure they talk a lot of talk, but do the actions match the words. A man steady in his forward movement towards you shows positive signs that yes he is ready for a relationship. The man who is inconsistent with his calls, the man who disappears, is giving you signs he is not ready. The smart thing to do in this case is to dump him and go out and find a man that you don't have to ask is he ready for a relationship with. Sadly a lot of women hold on, hoping he will change, falling hopelessly in love with his potential and not the man himself.

If you offer up resistance and he still pursues you, that is a sign that yes he is ready. By offering resistance, I mean mainly not changing your life around to accommodate him. If you keep your independence and he still keeps coming forward, he is ready for a relationship. If he pushes you to change your routines, or if he stops trying to fit you into his life when you offer up resistance, he is not ready for a relationship. Go find someone who is please.

If a man acts proud of you, you can count on his readiness for a relationship with you. If he introduces you to friends. If he even brags to his friends of some of the silly things he has done for you. Men often do this in a joking way. If he refers to you as the boss with a smile on his face, he is proud of the hold you have on him. A man not ready for a relationship will brag about how he won't do this or won't do that for a woman.

A man ready for a relationship won't do this. He may hold onto his independence, but you won't hear him bragging on it. Why He Disappeared!


If a relationship is what you seek, stop wasting your time on men who aren't ready. If men disappear on you, it's time for you to end this madness and find out if it's you or if it's simply the men you are choosing to accept into your life. Why He Disappeared!


Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6495545

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Do Men Like a Challenge

When it comes to what men want in a woman, a yes woman is not it. A yes woman puts her man's needs prior to her own. She values his happiness first. The woman that gives too much falls into this category. A woman that gives in easily or is submissive is not very stimulating to obtain. This is the kind of woman that he keeps around as miss right now, but is not the kind of woman a man sees forever with.
The yes woman also becomes dependent on the man for her happiness. This puts a huge amount of pressure on a man. He starts to fear doing things separate from his woman because he has learned to expect her reaction to be one of sadness and disappointment. If you are dependent on a man for your happiness, this is a huge turnoff.
If you doubt men like a challenge think about a man and his car. If he drives a jalopy, he doesn't really care where he parks it. He doesn't care if someone else drives it. It gets him from point A to point B. If on the other hand he has a really nice car, chances are good he had to work hard to earn the money for that car. It holds more value. He cares where it's parked. He won't let just anyone drive it. He washes it every weekend and keeps it clean. It's his pride and joy. What men want in a woman is his pride and joy. If she comes to him easily, her value will be less.
Ever heard a man who has been happily married tell the story of how he won his wife. Watch his face, listen to his story. I would bet he had to go through hell and back to hear him tell it. Men often exaggerate this story. It's their pride and ego. They are proud they won the prize. They are proud of their challenging woman. A challenge is really one of the top things men want in a woman.
Being a challenge to a man is as simple as this. Offering up some resistance. If it's something he can't easily have, it becomes more of a challenge to get it. Resistance is not playing games, it's smart. It can be done in many ways. Something as simple as saying no thanks to a late night booty call is a challenge. It tells him you have more respect for yourself.
Offering resistance is smart because you can see how the man manuevers with this. If he steps it up, he is a worthy candidate. If he is respectful of your resistance, he may be ready for a real relationship. The man that accuses you of playing games with this is often the lazy man and not relationship ready in the first place. Dare to be a challenge to a man.
Stop being a doormat. A man's dream girl includes the term challenge, whether he knows it or not. It's in their nature, they can't help it. What a man wants in a woman is a challenge. The yes girl gets dumped almost every time.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6495406

Signs You Might Be a Clingy Girlfriend

If you are a clingy girlfriend, you are wearing your boyfriend out. It's stressful when someone won't give you your space or allow you to have much of your own identity. One a a man's biggest fears is loss of his freedom and nothing threatens his freedom as much as a clingy girlfriend. If you do any of the following you might want to focus on how to stop being a clingy girlfriend.
  • You spend more time on his facebook page than your own. You border on stalking and harassment with questions like "who was that girl that posted blah blah blah". If you are regularly questioning your man about his Facebook status, you may be a clingy girlfriend.
  • If you go odd places with him, like to pump gas, fix his buddies car, places where you aren't really needed. You want to go with him and you are hurt when you don't, you are too clingy for sure. Don't you have something to do? Wash your hair?
  • If every time he gets a text or phone call and you have to know who it is, that is a sign. If you ask to check his phone or worse yet, snoop on him, that is a really really bad sign.
  • If you know the exact time he goes to bed, eats, and gets up in the morning, is that really necessary? If you know this because you insist on constant contact, you are over board clingy.
  • Do you ask him at least once a day when is he going to be home, when is he going to call and so forth and so on?
  • Do you inquire about other women, such as who was that girl you just spoke to? Who was that woman you smiled at?
  • Do you play 100 questions when he comes home from somewhere? Do you want to know who was there and who's girlfriend was there? Do you ask him did he talk to any girls? Shiver!
If you show 2 or more of the above signs you are a clingy girlfriend. There is an above average chance that your man will never feel safe enough to completely commit to you. You have got to stop being clingy for your sake just as much as his. It will drive you crazy. It will drive him crazy. His friends will talk about you and worse, tease him about you. Clingy Girlfriends actually drive everyone crazy.

Men love women who are fun and that know how to challenge them. A clingy woman isn't fun or challenging. A clingy woman will get cheated on first as well, every time. Be a woman men adore, not run screaming from.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6488902

Monday, August 15, 2011

What Do Men Want in a Relationship

The first caution I have is this before I get into what men want in a relationship. Be sure he wants a relationship. Often we meet a man, and we want a relationship with him and because he keeps seeing us, we assume he also wants a relationship with us. This is not always the case. Men often keep women around as an option while waiting on the woman he wants a relationship with to come along. Sad but true, we all do this at some point. If you are wondering what men want in a relationship in hopes that if you give it to him, he will want a relationship, you have got it all wrong.

Men move into relationships naturally, not because you convinced him or behaved a certain way. It's attraction, usually emotional that moves them to a relationship. It's the woman they feel safe with, trusted, and accepted. For a man to feel this, he needs to know that the woman does not depend on him for all of her happiness. The woman trying to convince him into a relationship is showing him that she does depend on him for her happiness. He won't feel safe like this. He won't feel trusted and he certainly won't feel accepted.
What men want in a relationship I call the 3 A's: Acceptance, Appreciation and Affection.

Acceptance of who they are. They don't want to live in fear of a woman wanting to change them. It's happened to them many times already more than likely. A woman falls in love and then starts complaining about things she said nothing about in the beginning. She may think he drinks too much. She may think he goes out with the boys too much. She may start to buy him clothes and change how he dresses. The list goes on and on. Her complaints translate to him that he is not accepted.

Appreciation for what they do. Men don't always show love in the same way we do. We are different so to expect them to show love from a place of emotion is just not going to work. Men show it by the things they do for you. It may be changing a tire, mowing the grass, taking out the trash. Show appreciation for the good things they do in your life. Take the time to tell them and thank him for being a man.

Affection is another big thing when it comes to what men want in a relationship. They like to be desired. It wouldn't hurt to make a first move sometime. When you remove your affection, men notice. Don't remove your affection from a man. You can lump sex in with affection. Men don't have the outlets that we as women have for intimacy. We can be intimate with our girlfriends. Men connect more than you realize in the bedroom. They need this connection.

What men want in a relationship is simplicity. They crave a partner and commitment just as much as women do. I don't advocate becoming something you are not in order to please a man. There are though, certain qualities that some women have that seem to naturally propel men towards a commitment. There are women that just are naturally what men want in a relationship.
Men put women in one of three categories. A girl for now, a girl to have sex with or a girl they consider a relationship with. Which one are you?

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6488788

Friday, August 12, 2011

Can You Save Your Relationship With a Text Message

“Remote Control Romance”

Do you think men are “complicated?”

If you do, you’re not alone. Most women seem to think that men should come with an instruction manual…
Or that getting a man to be “romantic” is as hard as getting lasting peace in the middle east.
But thousands of women are discovering that waking up the “secret romantic” in their men is as easy as hitting a few buttons on their cell phone and sending a few “special” messages that have been proven again and again to work wonders.

Why Men Aren’t Romantic

The fact is, most men secretly crave romance at least as much as you do… but they’re either too distracted, too emotionally closed off, or too shy to tell you how they really feel or to sweep you off your feet.
But simply by using a few text messages sent from your average cell phone you can give him permission to be “unapologetically romantic”… to open up and tell you how he really feels, and to take you back in a “Relationship Time Machine” so you love each other (and lust after each other) like you did when you first met.

Incredible Video

If you want to learn more, go watch this short (but eye-opening) video by relationship expert Michael Fiore. In the video you’ll learn the real reason romance “dies” in most relationships…
The 3 things your man needs from you in order to “open up” to his secret romantic desires…
And how to use tiny little text messages to turn your guy into a bonafide “Prince Charming,” even if he’s a total “Romantic Numbskull” now.
(LINK)
This “Text The Romance Back” method has been featured on The Rachael Ray Show and has helped tens of thousands of women around the world. It sounds shocking, but it really does work.

Why He Appears When You Stop Looking

I am not buying that he appears when you stop looking. Yes it's a myth. It's far deeper than this. The reason he hasn't appeared until you stopped looking has more to do with your degree of readiness. The reason he had not appeared earlier is simple. You weren't ready. You were more than likely too busy trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. Let me explain.

I have watched many a woman transform to ready, myself included, but the transformation was a journey, not an over night thing. Usually it was a series of events or should I say relationships that propels the transformation. A woman may very well go through a few bad relationships.
Relationships that she had to guess where she stood. A relationship that may have been one-sided where she always had to make the initiative and she wondered if she didn't, would she see him or talk to him at all. You know, sending a daily text and always having a good reason in your head to justify it. Actually you were just that dependent or addicted to these men. Trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.

You may have repeated the above cycle with the same man or different men, but the cycle was always the same. You never felt secure in your relationship. You never really felt to your core that the man really really loved you or knew this without a doubt. Then one day you reach a breaking point.

You say this isn't how it is supposed to be. I am tired of doing the heavy lifting. I love myself to much to settle for the crumbs I have been accepting. You reach the point where you can take responsibility for your choices and acceptance of the wrong men. Enough is enough and the internal shift to ready begins. No more of this, "Oh but I love him". Now he has to love me too!

You become open to Mr. Right. You are also more able to begin to recognize Mr. Wrong, which in essence prepares you even more for Mr. Right. You can feel when you aren't a priority. You would prefer being alone than another man's option. The old you would hang on or again try to fit the square peg into the round hole. The new you says no way. Next and he is gone and you are fine with it. You are ready to love again.

Meanwhile there is a man out there probably transforming as well and at the same degree of readiness. There is more than one of these men by the way. A soul mate of sorts. It's only going to take one though and he will cross your path. Two people on ready. This is the way it must be. Both have to be ready for each other. Not just one partner. You know this to your core. Because of your journey, because of your internal transformation, you recognize him at last.  Mr. Right.  Sometimes he appears out of nowhere, sometimes he has been there all along and now you are really ready for love.

There are so many women out there on this journey to Mr. Right. Some are so close, some are miles and miles away. You can join and be inspired by these women here

Why He Disappeared!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6485933

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Signs Your Boyfriend Is Losing Interest

Men do lose interest. It's a fact. Men can get bored and when they do, they start wondering if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. There are signs that a man is losing interest and if you are seeing these signs, take action now before he decides to mow the lawn of another.

1. His calls and texts are less frequent. If you notice a change in his calling or texting pattern, your boyfriend is losing interests. A man wants to stay in touch with the woman he loves and his patterns will not change. If you feel his calls are out of obligation this is another clue.

2. He starts making plans without you. Maybe a weekend trip with his buddies. If he usually wants to spend most of the weekend with you and now there are other things he wants to fit in, he is working you out of the priority seat slowly but surely this is one of the signs he has lost interest.

3. If when you address any issues or your feelings of him disappearing, he gets defensive or reacts negatively. If a man is thinking of leaving, he will not be comfortable more times than not by offering you reassurance. He will feel guilt which causes one to get defensive. If he defends his change of actions, your boyfriend is losing interest.

4. He says he needs some space. Watch out if you hear this one. The end is near more times than not. If a man say he needs space, he is feeling smothered. Smothered men do not thrive in a relationship ever. The harder you hold on to a man who says he needs space, the further you will push him away.
5. If your boyfriend starts to become distracted with work or some other project, he may be losing interest and this is only an excuse to postpone the inevitable. Men that suddenly become preoccupied with something else often use this as a way to prolong the break up.

If your boyfriend is losing interest, the way you respond to this is critical to prevent a break up. If you push him, or put pressure on him, he will see you as needy and less attractive. You can stop a break up or you can insure it happens, it's all up to you and the steps you take or don't take. Don't be one of the many women who wonder why he disappeared.

Why He Disappeared!
To keep your man, it's crucial to understand how attraction really works and manifests with a man. Do you know the main reasons why men disappear and how to stop it?

Why He Disappeared!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6480976

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Why Men Leave - It's Not Him, It's You

Attraction is a key ingredient in a relationship. When a man leaves, this ingredient has somehow gotten lost. Life can get in the way often. Stress happens, things happen in life that put outside pressures on relationships. If the attraction is lost, men often leave as opposed to working it out but why?

Men must feel like they are making you happy. The day the man feels like it's a job to make you happy, he leaves eventually. It's what makes men happy, to make the woman they love happy. If you don't assure your man that he makes you happy, you could be partly to blame. If you are a woman that complains he won't feel he is making you happy I promise. Complaining only puts distance between couples.

Many women struggle with men leaving during the early stages of dating. There are many reasons why men leave in the early stages. I could write a book. The main and only reason though that you should be concerned with is the fact that yes he did leave. For some reason he did not see you as girlfriend or wife material. Hard pill to swallow indeed.

Often women spend so much time analyzing why a man left. They go through it over and over in their heads and never get the right answer. My philosophy is it's ok to analyze. It will come in handy one day when you meet the right man that does not leave you will be better able to recognize him because you won't feel the need to analyze him to death.

I would love to be able to tell you that it's not you, it's him and that is why men leave, but the truth usually is it's you. There is something that reaches his core and tells him you aren't the one. Some reason his attraction fades. If this keeps happening to you, it pays to understand how attraction really works and what keeps the attraction going. It's way more than a physical thing, it's a deep emotional attraction that holds him.

The main reason why men leave is about attraction. It has started to fade. The more it fades, the more you may be feeling the disconnect and this may cause you to hold on tighter or start to question and feel insecure in your relationship. This will only assure his disappearance. The tighter you hold on, the greater your chances are from becoming another woman asking why do men leave.

Do you truly understand why men leave? Do you kid yourself by saying they are jerks or making excuses for them? You can stop the disappearing man syndrome simply by understanding how attraction works for men and never be the woman men leave again.

Why He Disappeared!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6481454

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

My Husband Ignores Me


My Relationship Was Falling Apart Now It's a Dream



I hear this so very often.  My husband ignores me.  Why is this and what is the cause behind it?  It could be a number of things, but at the top of the list is always this one thing.  The attraction has faded.  A man does not ignore a woman he is attracted too.

So what causes the attraction to fade. Is it the stress and pressures of life?  Has everything just become routine?  How do you get the attraction back?  This comes to mind first when a woman complains my husband ignores me.  What exactly is he ignoring?  Are you trying to talk to him about this that you are feeling and being met with very little explanation or a lame explanation.

If you are trying to get his attention back through talk and words, you might as well stop now.  It never works.  Men don't respond to words, they respond to distance, yes even your husband.  A man quoted this yesterday on one of my articles.  Very telling. "Remember, men are visual creatures ... we hear you even more when we can see your thoughts/comments/points of view in your actions."  That quote speaks volumes.  

When you use words to a man, he gets the impression that you are complaining, not voicing your feelings.  This sends a message to him loud and clear.  If you are complaining, you aren't happy.  If you aren't happy it must somehow be his fault.  He doesn't really know how to make you happy, nor does your complaining give him any reason to want too.  It makes him feel bad or inadequate.  Believe it or not, men do have feelings.

On the other hand if you put some distance there, he starts to wonder and starts to notice.  A little distance added with the appearance of self control makes him nervous that he may be losing you.  This actually propels him into action.  When you pull back some, it causes him to move towards you.  This is when he will be more open to listening to your feelings and not a moment sooner.

Another common myth that women seem to buy into is that the more they do for a man the more he should love and appreciate them.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  If you are a woman that pleases or does everything for her man, this may very well be the main thing that has killed his attraction.  Then the resentment sets in.  This is when I often hear women say I do so much for him, he has it made, yet he takes me for granted.  My husband ignores me.  

Understand that those are your expectations and measures.  If you complain that you do so much for him and he does little in return, well there is your sign.  By doing or giving too much to your husband, you are allowing him to have his cake and eat it too.  The more you give, the more you expect to get in return.  So many women keep score of this when in fact the men never asked them to give so much in the first place.  Make sense?

If your husband is ignoring you, fix it now.  It will only get worse.  The resentment will grow and the attraction will fade more and more if it goes unchecked.  You can have the relationship you want starting today.
Bring Him Close Again
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Monday, August 8, 2011

New Relationship Advice for Her - Critical

In the first couple of months in a new relationship, a lot of times the attraction is physical. I would go so far as to say that a lot of women even mistake that physical attraction for a relationship when he may not even be in a relationship in his mind. That is the first new relationship advice I would offer. Make sure you both are on the same page.

I can't tell you how many times I have known women to go on a few dates, and the man is giving attention and acting like he is really into a woman, she sleeps with him and he starts getting distant. This is so common and if I can ever get any message across, I want to get this one across. A few dates and phone calls do not equal a relationship. Before you go getting new relationship advice, make sure he is your boyfriend. A boyfriend gets wrapped up in making you happy. If he is doing this, you are probably safe.

Now how can you keep him around, assuming he is worth keeping and treats you well. Don't start over accommodating him. Lots of women will start changing up their schedule to fit him in. They will put their girlfriends on the back burner hoping to hear from their new boyfriend. Don't do this. Men love a woman who has her own life. It's wildly attractive when they have to compete for your time, even if it is your girlfriends. Keep your own life, don't make changes to fit in this new guy would be my first new relationship advice.
Don't expect him to change for you. If he usually goes out with the guys on Friday, don't whine that he does that instead of seeing you. If he plays poker on Mondays, don't try to change him. When we try to change men it tells them two things. The first that we don't accept him as he is. Men must feel accepted. Second it tells him you may become a control freak or drama queen down the road. New relationship advice number two, don't try to change him. In time if you play your cards right he may want to give up certain things in order to spend time with you, but you can't push it.

Remain the fun girl that he started dating in the beginning. Keep yourself up and continue to be fun. Relax and be yourself. One of the main complaints I get from men is that the women change when they get in a new relationship and start acting different and aren't as fun anymore. Light and breezy. If you are in a new relationship you want to stay the dream girl he fell for in the first place.

More men vanish in the first few months of dating, this is a fact. They get all excited and think they have found a dream girl and then the dream girl somehow turns out to not be his dream girl. Don't let this happen to you. Men aren't locked down in the beginning of a new relationship and this is when they walk away most.

The Women Men Adore

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6455033

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Top Sign He Wants a Relationship

If you want to know if he wants a relationship with you or not, it's about how you feel. How he makes you feel. When you lay your head down at night are you guessing and wondering or do you feel safe and secure and know that he will still be present happily in your life tomorrow. Seems too simple doesn't it? It's really not.

A man that wants a relationship with you makes sure you are happy and content. If you find yourself feeling ansty and doubtful over things like will he call or not, or if you will have a date over the weekend, he may not be moving towards a relationship. Men that see you a girlfriend material will not dream of keeping you in distress or a place of wonder. Part of their purpose in life becomes your happiness. Men love to make the woman they love happy.

The best relationship advice I can give is to pay attention to your gut. If something feels off, it usually is. If you feel at peace, you usually are right about that as well. So if you are happy with your man and feel wanted, trusted, and adored, that is one of the best signs he wants a relationship.

If on the other hand you worry, or spend time analyzing his actions and aren't happy for the most part, he may not be headed for a relationship with you. Men put us in 3 basic categories.

1. Miss Right Now. Someone to date until someone more interesting comes along
2. Miss Good Time Girl. A woman he can have sex and a good time with, but not forever.
3. Girlfriend or wife material. A woman that inspires him to commit and a woman he can see forever with, maybe even babies or at least a rocking chair.

If you aren't feeling secure with your man, you may be in category one or two. You gut can answer this for you. Again, if you lay your head down at night and just know he will be present in your life when you wake up the next day, that is one of the best signs that he wants a relationship with you.

There is an exception to this rule though. The Drama Queen. I have to mention her. She is the woman that no matter what the man does, she doesn't feel secure. Maybe she has been cheated on in her past. This woman does things like check out his Facebook page and question about every woman on his wall. She whines when he chooses doing other things over her. If he doesn't include her in everything, she gets bent out of shape. She thinks all of his and her free time should be spent together. She may check his phone messages and email even. She spends countless hours analyzing him and his every move, then questions him to pieces on them.
This Drama Queen will eventually run the man off and there is no mentally healthy man that will remain in this relationship forever. If you are one of these women, get help now or you will never know what peace feels like in a relationship.

If you want to see the signs that he wants a relationship with you, look inside and pay attention to have you feel. The heart does not lie.
So many women spin their wheels wondering does he like me or not. Does he want to be with me or not and where is the relationship heading. If you want to be his forever do what many women before you have done, myself included. Find out what it is about some women that can hold a man's heart and become the woman he adores.

The Women Men Adore and Never Leave

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6468124

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

What Is a Drama Queen

A Drama Queen is also a control freak.  They try to control their surroundings and mainly their men with drama.  Below is a post written by a friend of mine who has a Drama Queen Friend.  You can see how she disrupts the natural pattern of how a relationship should flow with trust and acceptance.  If this is you, get help now or you will never keep a man, not a real man, not for long anyway.

One of my very good friends up here is seeing a guy who happens to be friends with a lot of my friends. He plays guitar, as do many of my friends, at these little jam sessions all over town, so we bump into each other occassionally. He sent me a friend request one night when I happened to be on the phone with her (my friend) and I said "oh, Rick just sent me a friend request. That's cool." She flipped the fuck OUT and was offended. She said for me not to accept it out of respect for her. I agreed, just because she seemed so bent out of shape about it and figured it wasn't worth it since I barely know him.

A few weeks went by...she and I were on the phone again one night and he sends me a pm basically saying "I sent you a friend request, but I guess you're scared of me. That's fine...no worries..take care." I told her about that (and mentioned the fact that I felt like an ass), so she calls him. She says to him "maybe Fair didn't accept your request because she didn't want to out of respect for me." He was like "oh, so that's how it works with you women..." So I asked her if she told him that she asked me not to and she said "well no." I was like GREAT....make ME look like an ass. THANKS.

The whole thing got under my skin because it is childish, in my opinion. He wasn't asking me out or hitting on me. It's fucking Facebook! On the other hand, she is a very good friend who has a very different opinion than I do about whether or not men and women can simply be friends. She doesn't buy it. But many of my best friends are men.

ALSO, she tends to stalk this same man on FB when he hasn't called her at night. She'll say "oh...he's on facebook. Can you believe that? He's on facebook, but he can't call me." I have to constantly remind her that the man works sometimes until 10pm (and he's a park ranger, so he's out in the heat) and that he has been very honest with her about the fact that he really does not like talking on the phone. Some people don't, you know? Some people find it much easier to be online. You type what you want for as long as you want, and then you're done. You don't have to deal with someone on the other end talking incessently or begging you to stay on the phone. You can just simply log off. But MAN, she gets irate if she sees him online and he hasn't called her. Yikes.

And finally, last week, he was up at Wild Wings with some of my friends and they were doing one of their little jam sessions. There happened to be group of very drunk college age girls in there who were hanging all over all of the guys (and girls) who were playing in the jam...pictures were made....pictures were posted....and people were tagged. There was only ONE of my friend's man that was tagged. She, again, flipped out. She then, in a very passive-aggressive way, told him she didn't like it. He ended up taking it down right away. I saw the picture. Had that been my guy, I probably would have just laughed.

This guy she's seeing is a very laid-back, free spirit type person. He's also a musician and the musicians up here are all pretty tight because they try to support each other and the whole local music scene. Many of them are women who have been his friends (and nothing more) since before she met him. It's amazing to me that he has not run for the hills because she (again, in a very passive-aggressive manner) bitches every time she sees a photo, a post, a "like." Anything.

She and I have discussed all of this at length and we finally had to agree to disagree. She blames it on our age difference, since she's 52 and I'm 36. I disagree. I think it comes down to understanding that just because a man looks at another woman, talks to another woman, or befriends another woman (and vice versa), does not mean that he wants to run off and bang her, date her, or marry her. It's a total trust and self-esteem issue, in my opinion. It doesn't have a thing to do with age.

I'm typing this in a hurry, so I don't know that I've made my point, but I hope some of it makes sense! I haven't even gotten to the other stories, but I have to run a ton of errands, so I will try to get to those later.

It's such an interesting topic because I think it affects everyone, whether you are in a relationship or not.

Go from Drama Queen to the woman men adore instead.  

Monday, August 1, 2011

Why You Can't Find a Good Man

I know a lot of man haters out there.  I know a lot of women who say they only attract jerks or bad boys.  I often hear women say, but I never feel any chemistry with a nice guy.  A nice guy is not to be confused with a good guy.  The nice guys are the ones who show up at your first coffee date with flowers to impress you.  The nice guys are the ones that start doting on you long before they really know you, trying to fill a position so to speak.  Good guys are just good guys.  They open doors, treat you with respect, call when they say they will, plan in advance and do all the right things, so why oh why can't you feel it for a good guy?

I am going to venture to say that your last relationship or maybe even last few relationships were not all that successful.  Maybe you were with a man who would not commit.  Maybe you felt this great chemistry when you were together, but never knew where you stood otherwise.  Or maybe he cheated on you, or did you wrong but you loved him so much anyway.  They say we can't choose who we love, but I am going to challenge this a bit.

Those men in your past became your normal.  You felt chemistry with these men that did not treat you right, and now you are programed to associate chemistry with the bad boy types.  You meet good men, but you are never attracted to them.  It's because you have been trained like Pavlov's dog that chemistry equals bad treatment.  It's conditioned into you, has become your normal. Think about the longing you have for that wrong man.  He isn't present in your life, yet you associate him with feelings of love and attraction.

Stop Wasting Time on the Wrong Guys.
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You have to break the cycle.  Ever fell in love with a good guy?  It feels pretty nice.  No more wondering if he is going to call or not.  No more wondering if he will do what he says he will do.  No more wondering where you stand because he shows you where you stand with his actions.  No more disappearing many syndrome when you fall in love with a good guy.

Yes we attract all sorts of men into our lives, but you can choose to accept them or toss them back.  We don't attract the wrong men into our lives, we accept the wrong men into our lives.  I know a lot of women think out the roof chemistry is a must.  Yes there is something to say about chemistry, I agree, but examine what your idea of chemistry is based on and understand that it is formed by past experiences to a degree.  We are conditioned by our past.  If what you have done in the past hasn't brought you a man that adores you, it's up to you to change your behavior and attitude.  Good guys rock, they really really do.